it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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