So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
