Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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