Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
