if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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