At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize