he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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