so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
