I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
