i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
