community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's blow job season.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
