i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
