I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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