dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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