THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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