Your tits are I can't wait for
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
