He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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