everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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