I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
