I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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