in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
