Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
