I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
two words: eviction party
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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