This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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