i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize