How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
