Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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