Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
