you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we're making bets on your personal life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize