Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
