My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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