So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
