look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
as a side note pls kill me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
