I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
