So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
