Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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