It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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