loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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