There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
