Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
