Christians are straight up FREAKS
Screwed.edu
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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