Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
