arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
