mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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