I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
