i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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