yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
