Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My life is pants optional.
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