I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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