just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize