Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
