I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
