maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
