What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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