it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
