I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
