yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
