Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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