I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
