I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
