im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
