FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
