I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
