Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
