you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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