Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
