No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
