Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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