I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
