I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
