I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
