i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
