nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
