I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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