Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What a dumb baby whore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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