Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
