Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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